A Change Is As Good As A Holiday

As the last rays of summer’s warmth ebb away and the gentle breezes of autumn waft themselves upon us, we recognize once again, that change is inevitable. Nature is constantly changing and yet, so many people have the notion that change is frightening.

People are creatures of habit and some find it difficult to adjust to changes that are certain to come our way. Life is like an old, comfortable pair of shoes. We may realize that we need new ones and we may even find new ones we really like, but, we know that changing will cause us discomfort for a little while until we break them in.

Sometimes we need to realize that life isn’t always easy. What may be better for us is not what we are used to, but it is certainly worth the trouble of breaking in new habits and lifestyle changes.

Change does not have to be painful. Just look to nature and it will give you clues to how change can be effortless. The beautifully colored autumn leaves do not hang on to the old tree for dear life. No, they yield to the changes with ease and float gently off the tree.

With the coming of autumn we have been busy in our gardens pulling up the old stuff and getting ready for a time of rest. We know that the ground must rest and next year there will be more wonderful things in our garden to delight us.

Are there things in your life that need to be gently eased out of your life? Maybe there are bad relationships or habits or thoughts that need to be weeded out of your life. Don’t be afraid to do a little gardening in your own life.

Every gardener knows that unless we get to the roots, we really are not getting rid of the problem. It may go away for awhile but unless we get to the root, it will sneak back into the garden very quickly.

Although the harvest time is here there is no time to stop weeding the garden of our minds. This garden needs constant attention in order for us to flourish and be all that we can be. The only way to keep this garden in top shape is to make sure that no weeds are there trying to strangle any good we are trying to do. The weeds of our mind, of course are negative thoughts that like to creep in and keep us from achieving that which we are striving for.

William James said, “Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.

How do we change the inner attitudes of our minds? By changing the way we think. We must put fear and negativity behind us. How, you ask? Just as the leaves of autumn gently blow from the tree, don’t try and make a change in your thinking over night and expect to get instant results. We cannot rip these thoughts out of our minds, as much as we would like to sometimes. No, we need to be gentle on ourselves and let positive thoughts replace the negative.

Yes it will take some work on your part. You must constantly fill your mind with positive thoughts. Proverbs 27: 3 says, As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. We are what we think. When the negative thoughts come into your mind, you must be ready and willing to replace those thoughts with positive ones. Just say to yourself, no, I won’t let that thought take over my mind, I will think positively. Affirmations are good to have readily available so you can replace the negative thought with the positive one. It won’t be easy, it won’t be hard either, it will just be different, like that new pair of shoes we were talking about earlier.

The autumn leaves fall to make way for new life. We too must go through changes that will bring new growth to our bodies, souls and spirits.

Change is inevitable, so why fight it? Why be afraid of it? Yes, change will require us to do a bit of readjusting but it is always worth it. Don’t be afraid of change, a change will do you good.

Hypnosis and Life Coaching

Evidence of hypnotic-like phenomena appears in many ancient cultures. The writer of Genesis seems familiar with the anaesthetic power of hypnosis when he reports that God put Adam "into a deep sleep" to take his rib to form Eve. Other ancient records suggest hypnosis was used by the oracle at Delphi and in rites in ancient Egypt (Hughes and Rothovius, 1996). The modern history of hypnosis begins in the late 1700s, when a French physician, Anton Mesmer, revived an interest in hypnosis.

1734-1815 Franz Anton Mesmer was born in Vienna. Mesmer is considered the father of hypnosis. He is remembered for the term mesmerism which described a process of inducing trance through a series of passes he made with his hands and/or magnets over people. He worked with a person’s animal magnetism (psychic and electromagnetic energies). The medical community eventually discredited him despite his considerable success treating a variety of ailments. His successes offended the medical establishment of the time, who arranged for an official French government investigating committee. This committee included Benjamin Franklin, then the American ambassador to France, and Joseph Guillotine, a French physician who introduced a never-fail device for physically separating the mind from the rest of the body.

1795-1860 James Braid, an English physician, originally opposed to mesmerism (as it had become known) who subsequently became interested. He said that cures were not due to animal magnetism however, they were due to suggestion. He developed the eye fixation technique (also known as Braidism) of inducing relaxation and called it hypnosis (after Hypnos, the Greek god of sleep) as he thought the phenomena was a form of sleep. Later, realising his error, he tried to change the name to monoeidism (meaning influence of a single idea)however, the original name stuck. 1825-1893 Jean Marie Charcot a French neurologist,disagreed with the Nancy School of Hypnotism and contended that hypnosis was simply a manifestation of hysteria. There was bitter rivalry between Charcot and the Nancy group (Liebault and Bernheim). He revived Mesmer’s theory of Animal Magnetism and identified the three stages of trance; lethargy, catalepsy and somnambulism.

1845-1947 Pierre Janet was a French neurologist and psychologist who was initially opposed to the use of hypnosis until he discovered its relaxing effects and promotion of healing. Janet was one of the few people who continued to show an interest in hypnosis during the psychoanalytical rage.

1849-1936 Ivan Petrovich Pavlov - Russian psychologist who actually was more focused on the study of the digestive process. He is known primarily for his development of the concept of the conditioned reflex (or Stimulus Response Theory). In his classic experiment, he trained hungry dogs to salivate at the sound of a bell, which was previously associated with the sight of food. He was awarded the Nobel Prize for Physiology in 1904 for his work on digestive secretions. Though he had nothing to do with hypnosis, his Stimulus Response Theory is a cornerstone in linking and anchoring behaviours, particularly in NLP.

1857-1926 Emile Coue, a physician who formulated the Laws of Suggestion. He is also known for encouraging his patients to say to themselves 20-30 times a night before going to sleep; "Everyday in every way, I am getting better and better." He also discovered that delivering positive suggestions when prescribing medication proved to be a more effective cure than prescribing medications alone. He eventually abandoned the concept of hypnosis in favour of just using suggestion, feeling hypnosis and the hypnotic state impaired the efficiency of the suggestion.

Coue’s Laws of Suggestion

The Law of Concentrated Attention

" Whenever attention is concentrated on an idea over and over again, it spontaneously tends to realise itself"

The Law of Reverse Action

"The harder one tries to do something, the less chance one has of success"

The Law of Dominant Effect

"A stronger emotion tends to replace a weaker one"

1856-1939 Sigmund Freud travelled to Nancy and studied with Liebault and Bernheim, and then did additional study with Charcot. Freud did not incorporate hypnosis in his therapeutic work however because he felt he could not hypnotise patients to a sufficient depth, felt that the cures were temporary, and that hynosis stripped patients of their defences. Freud was considered a poor hypnotist given his paternal manner. However, his clients often went into trance and he often, unknowingly, performed non-verbal inductions when he would place his hand on his patient’s head to signify the Doctor dominant, patient submissive roles. Because of his early dismissal of hypnosis in favour of psychoanalysis, hypnosis was almost totally ignored.

1875-1961 Carl Jung, a student and colleague of Freud’s, rejected Freud’s psychoanalytical approach and developed his own interests. He developed the concept of the collective unconscious and archetypes. Though he did not actively use hypnosis, he encouraged his patients to use active imagination to change old memories. He often used the concept of the inner guide, in the healing work. He believed that the inner mind could be accessed through tools like the I Ching and astrology. He was rejected by the conservative medical community as a mystic. However, many of his ideas and theories are actively embraced by healers to this day.

1932-1974 Milton Erickson, a psychologist and psychiatrist pioneered the art of indirect suggestion in hypnosis. He is considered to be the father of modern hypnosis. His methods bypassed the conscious mind through the use of both verbal and nonverbal pacing techniques including metaphor, confusion, and many others. He was a colourful character and has immensely influenced the practice of contemporary hypnotherapy, and its official acceptance by the AMA. His work, combined with the work of Satir and Perls, was the basis for Bandler and Grinder’s Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).

10 Tips To Self Motivation

Every day of your life you are selling yourself, nothing happens until you're successful at doing that.

We're all in the selling business whether we like it or not. It doesn't matter whether you're a lawyer or an accountant, a manager or a politician, an engineer or a doctor.

We all spend a great deal of our time trying to persuade people to buy our product or service, accept our proposals or merely accept what we say.

Before you get better at persuading or influencing other people - you need to get better at self-motivation and selling yourself.

Here are 10 simple steps to self-motivation:

#1 - You must believe in the product

Selling yourself is pretty much like selling anything. Firstly, you need to believe in what you're selling. That means believing in "you." It's about lots of positive self-talk and the right attitude.

The first thing people notice about you is your attitude. If you're like most people then you'll suffer from lack of confidence from time to time.

It really all comes down to how you talk to yourself. The majority of people are more likely to talk to themselves negatively than positively - this is what holds them back in life.

It isn't just about a positive attitude; it's about the right attitude - the quality of your thinking.

Successful people have a constructive and optimistic way of looking at themselves and their work. They have an attitude of calm, confident, positive self-expectation. They feel good about themselves and believe that everything they do will lead to their inevitable success.

If you're in a sales job or a business owner or a manager then you need to continually work on your attitude. You need to listen to that little voice inside your head. Is it saying you're on top, going for it and confident, or is it holding you back.

If you're hearing - "I can't do this or that" or "They won't want to buy at the moment" or "We're too expensive" then you'd better change your self-talk or change your job.

Start to believe in yourself and don't let things that are out with your control effect your attitude.

Avoid criticising, condemning and complaining and start spreading a little happiness.

Remember the saying of Henry Ford, founder of the Ford Motor Company - "If you believe you can do a thing, or if you believe you can't, in either case you're probably right."

#2 - The packaging must grab attention

Like any other product we buy, the way the product is packaged and presented will influence the customer's decision to buy.

Everything about you needs to look good and you must dress appropriately for the occasion. And don't think that just because your customer dresses casually, that they expect you to dress the same way.

The style and colour of the clothes you wear, your spectacles, shoes, briefcase, watch, the pen you use, all make a statement about you.

#3 - Smile

No need to get carried away, you don't need a big cheesy grin, just a pleasant open face that doesn't frighten people away.

#4 - Use names

Use the customers name as soon as you can but don't over do it. Business is less formal nowadays however be careful of using first names initially. Make sure your customer knows yours and remembers it. You can do the old repeat trick -"My name is Bond, James Bond" or "My name is James, James Bond"

#5 - Watch the other person

What does their body language tell you? Are they comfortable with you or are they a bit nervous? Are they listening to you or are their eyes darting around the room. If they're not comfortable and not listening then there's no point telling them something important about your business.

Far better to make some small talk and more importantly -get then to talk about themselves.

It's best to go on the assumption that in the first few minutes of meeting someone new, they won't take in much of what you say. They're too busy analysing all the visual data they're taking in.

#6 - Listen and look like you're listening.

Many people, particularly men, listen but don't show that they're listening. The other person can only go on what they see, not what's going on inside your head. If they see a blank expression then they'll assume you're "out to lunch."

The trick is to do all the active listening things such as nodding your head, the occasional "UH-HUH" and the occasional question.

#7 - Be interested.

If you want to be INTERESTING then be INTERESTED. This really is the most important thing you can do to be successful at selling yourself.

The majority of people are very concerned about their self-image. If they sense that you value them, that you feel that they're important and worth listening to, then you effectively raise their self-image. If you can help people to like themselves then they'll LOVE you.

Don't fall into the trap of flattering the other person, because most people will see right through you and they won't fall for it. Just show some genuine interest in the customer and their business and they'll be much more receptive to what you say.

#8 - Talk positively.

Don't say - "Isn't it a horrible day" or "Business is pretty tough at present" or any thing else that pulls the conversation down. Say things like (and only the truth) - "I like the design of this office" or "I've heard some good reports about your new product."

#9 - Mirror the other person

This doesn't mean mimicking the other person, it just means you speaking and behaving in a manner that is similar to the customer.

For example, if your customer speaks slowly or quietly, then you speak slowly or quietly. Remember people like people who are like themselves.

#10 - Warm and friendly

If you look or sound stressed or aggressive then don't be surprised if the other person gets defensive and less than willing to co-operate.

If you look and sound warm and friendly, then you're more likely to get a positive response.

This isn't about being all nicey-nicey. It's about a pleasant open face or a warm tone over the telephone.

Before we can get down to the process of selling our product, our service or our ideas then we need to be as sure as we can be - that the customer has bought us and that we have their full attention.

Aspergers Disorder Misdiagnosis

(The use of gender pronouns in this article reflects the clinical facts: most narcissists and most Asperger's patients are male.)

Asperger's Disorder is often misdiagnosed as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), though evident as early as age 3 (while pathological narcissism cannot be safely diagnosed prior to early adolescence).

In both cases, the patient is self-centered and engrossed in a narrow range of interests and activities. Social and occupational interactions are severely hampered and conversational skills (the give and take of verbal intercourse) are primitive. The Asperger's patient body language - eye to eye gaze, body posture, facial expressions - is constricted and artificial, akin to the narcissist's. Nonverbal cues are virtually absent and their interpretation in others lacking.

Yet, the gulf between Asperger's and pathological narcissism is vast.

The narcissist switches between social agility and social impairment voluntarily. His social dysfunctioning is the outcome of conscious haughtiness and the reluctance to invest scarce mental energy in cultivating relationships with inferior and unworthy others. When confronted with potential Sources of Narcissistic Supply, however, the narcissist easily regains his social skills, his charm, and his gregariousness.

Many narcissists reach the highest rungs of their community, church, firm, or voluntary organization. Most of the time, they function flawlessly - though the inevitable blowups and the grating extortion of Narcissistic Supply usually put an end to the narcissist's career and social liaisons.

The Asperger's patient often wants to be accepted socially, to have friends, to marry, to be sexually active, and to sire offspring. He just doesn't have a clue how to go about it. His affect is limited. His initiative - for instance, to share his experiences with nearest and dearest or to engage in foreplay - is thwarted. His ability to divulge his emotions stilted. He is incapable or reciprocating and is largely unaware of the wishes, needs, and feelings of his interlocutors or counterparties.

Inevitably, Asperger's patients are perceived by others to be cold, eccentric, insensitive, indifferent, repulsive, exploitative or emotionally-absent. To avoid the pain of rejection, they confine themselves to solitary activities - but, unlike the schizoid, not by choice. They limit their world to a single topic, hobby, or person and dive in with the greatest, all-consuming intensity, excluding all other matters and everyone else. It is a form of hurt-control and pain regulation.

Thus, while the narcissist avoids pain by excluding, devaluing, and discarding others - the Asperger's patient achieves the same result by withdrawing and by passionately incorporating in his universe only one or two people and one or two subjects of interest. Both narcissists and Asperger's patients are prone to react with depression to perceived slights and injuries - but Asperger's patients are far more at risk of self-harm and suicide.

The use of language is another differentiating factor.

The narcissist is a skilled communicator. He uses language as an instrument to obtain Narcissistic Supply or as a weapon to obliterate his "enemies" and discarded sources with. Cerebral narcissists derive Narcissistic Supply from the consummate use they make of their innate verbosity.

Not so the Asperger's patient. He is equally verbose at times (and taciturn on other occasions) but his topics are few and, thus, tediously repetitive. He is unlikely to obey conversational rules and etiquette (for instance, to let others speak in turn). Nor is the Asperger's patient able to decipher nonverbal cues and gestures or to monitor his own misbehavior on such occasions. Narcissists are similarly inconsiderate - but only towards those who cannot possibly serve as Sources of Narcissistic Supply.

More about Autism Spectrum Disorders here:

McDowell, Maxson J. (2002) The Image of the Mother's Eye: Autism and Early Narcissistic Injury , Behavioral and Brain Sciences (Submitted)

Benis, Anthony - "Toward Self & Sanity: On the Genetic Origins of the Human Character" - Narcissistic-Perfectionist Personality Type (NP) with special reference to infantile autism

Stringer, Kathi (2003) An Object Relations Approach to Understanding Unusual Behaviors and Disturbances

James Robert Brasic, MD, MPH (2003) Pervasive Developmental Disorder: Asperger Syndrome

Opportunities Knock At Every Door

Many people feel that there is a limited amount of abundance, wealth, or chances to succeed in life. Furthermore, there is a solid belief that if one person succeeds, another must fail.

This might be true, in some cases, such as in a small company or school, where opportunity is limited by management. However, the world is a big place, and there are opportunities created from ideas that help people, and no one gets hurt in the process.

Below are two examples of success that have not taken anything away from anyone:

Danny Thomas: With his promise, prayers, and vision, for St. Jude’s Hospital, he received the help of friends in the Arab-American community to build a fantastic charity. Some of us also believe he received divine help – I know, I do.

There is much more to this story, but what did this hospital or charity take away from anyone? Aren’t the children who recover from cancer living proof that this idea, and prosperity, is for the pure benefit of mankind? There is no one who is hurt by this, and Marlo Thomas has picked up where her father left off.

Yoga teachers: Many unfulfilled members of the workforce have left their jobs to teach the benefits of Yoga to the masses. They teach their students to enjoy life, deal with stress, breathe properly, improve their posture, become aware of their bodies, and many more benefits.

Most Yoga teachers believe that all of the great Yoga jobs are in health clubs, ashrams, and Yoga studios. Not so, in my book “How to Grow Your Own Successful Yoga Business,” I mention 16 ways to start up with little or no overhead.

Within the first chapter, there are Yoga teaching opportunities that currently exist with little, or no, competition. Yoga teachers who have taken this advice have become successful and prosperous.

Do these jobs take food away from anyone? When someone starts a business, do they take food away from another competitor? If you believe your competition is your problem, it will be. This is limited thinking, and you have to learn to think “outside the box,” in order to be successful in life.

Don’t waste time on bad thoughts. You can easily co-exist in harmony with them, become friends, and learn from them. There is enough opportunity for everyone. This should be your mantra: Observe your competition, learn from their mistakes, and when possible, copy their success.

This is why you need to take a mandatory vacation and get fresh ideas. This is why you should take a notebook with you. I still prefer the “old fashioned,” spiral bound notebook, with a pen in hand.

Everyone has a niche, make sure you cultivate yours, and develop your own identity, in life. Always remember, the sky is the limit, and you are only restrained by your own thoughts.

Narcissistic Personality Disorders

Opinions vary as to whether the narcissistic traits evident in in infancy, childhood, and early adolescence are pathological. Anecdotal evidence suggests that childhood abuse and trauma inflicted by parents, authority figures, or even peers provoke "secondary narcissism" and, when unresolved, may lead to the full-fledged Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) later in life.

This makes eminent sense as narcissism is a defense mechanism whose role is to deflect hurt and trauma from the victim's "True Self" into a "False Self" which is omnipotent, invulnerable, and omniscient. This False Self is then used by the narcissist to garner narcissistic supply from his human environment. Narcissistic supply is any form of attention, both positive and negative and it is instrumental in the regulation of the narcissist's labile sense of self-worth.

Perhaps the most immediately evident trait of patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is their vulnerability to criticism and disagreement. Subject to negative input, real or imagined, even to a mild rebuke, a constructive suggestion, or an offer to help, they feel injured, humiliated and empty and they react with disdain (devaluation), rage, and defiance.

From my book "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited":

"To avoid such intolerable pain, some patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) socially withdraw and feign false modesty and humility to mask their underlying grandiosity. Dysthymic and depressive disorders are common reactions to isolation and feelings of shame and inadequacy."

Due to their lack of empathy, disregard for others, exploitativeness, sense of entitlement, and constant need for attention (narcissistic supply), narcissists are rarely able to maintain functional and healthy interpersonal relationships.

Many narcissists are over-achievers and ambitious. Some of them are even talented and skilled. But they are incapable of team work because they cannot tolerate setbacks. They are easily frustrated and demoralized and are unable to cope with disagreement and criticism. Though some narcissists have meteoric and inspiring careers, in the long-run, all of them find it difficult to maintain long-term professional achievements and the respect and appreciation of their peers. The narcissist's fantastic grandiosity, frequently coupled with a hypomanic mood, is typically incommensurate with his or her real accomplishments (the "grandiosity gap").

There are many types of narcissists: the paranoid, the depressive, the phallic, and so on.

An important distinction is between cerebral and somatic narcissists. The cerebrals derive their Narcissistic Supply from their intelligence or academic achievements and the somatics derive their Narcissistic Supply from their physique, exercise, physical or sexual prowess and romantic or physical "conquests".

Another crucial division within the ranks of patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is between the classic variety (those who meet five of the nine diagnostic criteria included in the DSM), and the compensatory kind (their narcissism compensates for deep-set feelings of inferiority and lack of self-worth).

Some narcissists are covert, or inverted narcissists. As codependents, they derive their narcissistic supply from their relationships with classic narcissists.

Treatment and Prognosis

Talk therapy (mainly psychodynamic psychotherapy or cognitive-behavioural treatment modalities) is the common treatment for patients with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The therapy goals cluster around the need to modify the narcissist's antisocial, interpersonally exploitative, and dysfunctional behaviors. Such re-socialization (behavior modification) is often successful. Medication is prescribed to control and ameliorate attendant conditions such as mood disorders or obsessive-compulsive disorders.

The prognosis for an adult suffering from the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is poor, though his adaptation to life and to others can improve with treatment.

Why Not Be Unhappy?

If you've ever been around someone who is persistently miserable you'll find that they have a working strategy for making their experience unpleasant for themselves.

This article will give a few explanations why they use a strategy that makes them miserable, how that process works, and if this describes you, why you might want to change. It will also describe what you'll have to sacrifice if you no longer want to be miserable.

Also, if the benefits of being miserable are enough you'll learn how to continue to make choices and decisions that contribute to your misery.

The Benefits of Misery.

It's hard to believe that there are benefits to feeling bad but the fact is that there are. Some of these benefits include:

* Uniqueness. If you are suffering you at least can see yourself as special and even persecuted.

* Righteousness. If you are miserable because of something outside of your control you can hold it up as a banner and proclaim that you must be right to have such an enemy.

* Blame. As long as your misery can be something external to you then you can blame it for all your problems. This releases the burden of self-reflection and change.

* Familiarity. Sometimes misery is the only thing that seems familiar. Getting rid of it would mean launching yourself is a completely unfamiliar territory and might mean new things about yourself that you had never considered before.

* Misery is easy. There are very few people who go through life and are naturally happy. Those that are have found a strategy that works for them often after a lot of effort. It takes some work to change ones thinking process.

How to make decisions that make you feel miserable.

* Ask a series of miserable questions of yourself like

"What could go wrong about today?"

"What do I have to feel guilty about?"

"Why do bad things always happen to me?"

"Why am I feeling so terrible?"

* Make vague and unreasonable expectations and goals.

By making a goal or expectation unreasonable you'll make it impossible to achieve. By making them vague you'll never know exactly if you achieve them and you'll always be able to say "No, that's not what I meant."

* Think the worst first.

For any event that occurs you have a million ways of thinking about it. Go for the worst possible interpretation. For example, if you walk into a store and teenagers are outside laughing and smoking cigarettes they are probably laughing at you.

* Cling to past hurts.

Progress can be easily inhibited when you use past hurt of slow you down. These can take the form of lingering on why your life has been so terrible or even by saying “We've never done it that way before. Why start now?”

Why you might want to stop feeling miserable.

* Without a doubt misery is the number one cause of suicide. If you want to live you want to get rid of your misery.

* You will have more power (much, much more) and control over your life if you stop all the misery producing processes and take responsibility for your life.

How to stop making miserable decisions.

* Set reasonable goals using the S.M.A.R.T. goals process. If you don't know what this is do a google search.

* Know when your emotions are trying to influence away from your goals and work to keep your focus.

* Agree to take responsibility for your life and especially for your emotions. This is very hard work but very rewarding.

What you will have to give up when you stop making miserable decisions.

* You will have to give up on the belief that your suffering makes you unique. The fact is suffering is ordinary and boring to most people. We've all experienced it and there is little you can say about your suffering that will make us think of you for very long. What is exceptional and unique is someone who makes no excuses for their life and decides to excel and feel joy AS A CHOICE.

* You will have to give up blame. This means blaming anyone or anything. It means even giving up blaming yourself.

* You will have to give up on fear and timidity. Only boldness and audacity can overcome a longstanding habit of misery.

Final note.

While all of this may seem vary callus and cold it's important to point out that this is not an essay by which you should judge other people but only yourself. Bad things do happen to good people and it's a good idea to help them when you can. On the other hand, if you find someone who is persistently and habitually miserable it's generally a good idea to keep your distance from them lest they infect you with their misery and, beleive me, they can do that more easily than you think.

Can We Defend Psychoanalysis?

That psychoanalysis is not a scientific theory in the strict, rigorous sense of the word has long been established. Yet, most criticisms of Freud's work (by the likes of Karl Popper, Adolf Grunbaum, Havelock Ellis, Malcolm Macmillan, and Frederick Crews) pertain to his - long-debunked - scientific pretensions.

Today it is widely accepted that psychoanalysis - though some of its tenets are testable and, indeed, have been experimentally tested and invariably found to be false or uncorroborated - is a system of ideas. It is a cultural construct, and a (suggested) deconstruction of the human mind. Despite aspirations to the contrary, psychoanalysis is not - and never has been - a value-neutral physics or dynamics of the psyche.

Freud also stands accused of generalizing his own perversions and of reinterpreting his patients' accounts of their memories to fit his preconceived notions of the unconscious . The practice of psychoanalysis as a therapy has been castigated as a crude form of brainwashing within cult-like settings.

Feminists criticize Freud for casting women in the role of "defective" (naturally castrated and inferior) men. Scholars of culture expose the Victorian and middle-class roots of his theories about suppressed sexuality. Historians deride and decry his stifling authoritarianism and frequent and expedient conceptual reversals.

Freud himself would have attributed many of these diatribes to the defense mechanisms of his critics. Projection, resistance, and displacement do seem to be playing a prominent role. Psychologists are taunted by the lack of rigor of their profession, by its literary and artistic qualities, by the dearth of empirical support for its assertions and fundaments, by the ambiguity of its terminology and ontology, by the derision of "proper" scientists in the "hard" disciplines, and by the limitations imposed by their experimental subjects (humans). These are precisely the shortcomings that they attribute to psychoanalysis.

Indeed, psychological narratives - psychoanalysis first and foremost - are not "scientific theories" by any stretch of this much-bandied label. They are also unlikely to ever become ones. Instead - like myths, religions, and ideologies - they are organizing principles.

Psychological "theories" do not explain the world. At best, they describe reality and give it "true", emotionally-resonant, heuristic and hermeneutic meaning. They are less concerned with predictive feats than with "healing" - the restoration of harmony among people and inside them.

Therapies - the practical applications of psychological "theories" - are more concerned with function, order, form, and ritual than with essence and replicable performance. The interaction between patient and therapist is a microcosm of society, an encapsulation and reification of all other forms of social intercourse. Granted, it is more structured and relies on a body of knowledge gleaned from millions of similar encounters. Still, the therapeutic process is nothing more than an insightful and informed dialog whose usefulness is well-attested to.

Both psychological and scientific theories are creatures of their times, children of the civilizations and societies in which they were conceived, context-dependent and culture-bound. As such, their validity and longevity are always suspect. Both hard-edged scientists and thinkers in the "softer" disciplines are influenced by contemporary values, mores, events, and interpellations.

The difference between "proper" theories of dynamics and psychodynamic theories is that the former asymptotically aspire to an objective "truth" "out there" - while the latter emerge and emanate from a kernel of inner, introspective, truth that is immediately familiar and is the bedrock of their speculations. Scientific theories - as opposed to psychological "theories" - need, therefore, to be tested, falsified, and modified because their truth is not self-contained.

Still, psychoanalysis was, when elaborated, a Kuhnian paradigm shift. It broke with the past completely and dramatically. It generated an inordinate amount of new, unsolved, problems. It suggested new methodological procedures for gathering empirical evidence (research strategies). It was based on observations (however scant and biased). In other words, it was experimental in nature, not merely theoretical. It provided a framework of reference, a conceptual sphere within which new ideas developed.

That it failed to generate a wealth of testable hypotheses and to account for discoveries in neurology does not detract from its importance. Both relativity theories were and, today, string theories are, in exactly the same position in relation to their subject matter, physics.

In 1963, Karl Jaspers made an important distinction between the scientific activities of Erklaren and Verstehen. Erklaren is about finding pairs of causes and effects. Verstehen is about grasping connections between events, sometimes intuitively and non-causally. Psychoanalysis is about Verstehen, not about Erklaren. It is a hypothetico-deductive method for gleaning events in a person's life and generating insights regarding their connection to his current state of mind and functioning.

So, is psychoanalysis a science, pseudo-science, or sui generis?

Psychoanalysis is a field of study, not a theory. It is replete with neologisms and formalism but, like Quantum Mechanics, it has many incompatible interpretations. It is, therefore, equivocal and self-contained (recursive). Psychoanalysis dictates which of its hypotheses are testable and what constitutes its own falsification. In other words, it is a meta-theory: a theory about generating theories in psychology.

Moreover, psychoanalysis the theory is often confused with psychoanalysis the therapy. Conclusively proving that the therapy works does not establish the veridicality, the historicity, or even the usefulness of the conceptual edifice of the theory. Furthermore, therapeutic techniques evolve far more quickly and substantially than the theories that ostensibly yield them. They are self-modifying "moving targets" - not rigid and replicable procedures and rituals.

Another obstacle in trying to establish the scientific value of psychoanalysis is its ambiguity. It is unclear, for instance, what in psychoanalysis qualify as causes - and what as their effects.

Consider the critical construct of the unconscious. Is it the reason for - does it cause - our behavior, conscious thoughts, and emotions? Does it provide them with a "ratio" (explanation)? Or are they mere symptoms of inexorable underlying processes? Even these basic questions receive no "dynamic" or "physical" treatment in classic (Freudian) psychoanalytic theory. So much for its pretensions to be a scientific endeavor.

Psychoanalysis is circumstantial and supported by epistemic accounts, starting with the master himself. It appeals to one's common sense and previous experience. Its statements are of these forms: "given X, Y, and Z reported by the patient - doesn't it stand to (everyday) reason that A caused X?" or "We know that B causes M, that M is very similar to X, and that B is very similar to A. Isn't it reasonable to assume that A causes X?".

In therapy, the patient later confirms these insights by feeling that they are "right" and "correct", that they are epiphanous and revelatory, that they possess retrodictive and predictive powers, and by reporting his reactions to the therapist-interpreter. This acclamation seals the narrative's probative value as a basic (not to say primitive) form of explanation which provides a time frame, a coincident pattern, and sets of teleological aims, ideas and values.

Juan Rivera is right that Freud's claims about infantile life cannot be proven, not even with a Gedankenexperimental movie camera, as Robert Vaelder suggested. It is equally true that the theory's etiological claims are epidemiologically untestable, as Grunbaum repeatedly says. But these failures miss the point and aim of psychoanalysis: to provide an organizing and comprehensive, non-tendentious, and persuasive narrative of human psychological development.

Should such a narrative be testable and falsifiable or else discarded (as the Logical Positivists insist)?

Depends if we wish to treat it as science or as an art form. This is the circularity of the arguments against psychoanalysis. If Freud's work is considered to be the modern equivalent of myth, religion, or literature - it need not be tested to be considered "true" in the deepest sense of the word. After all, how much of the science of the 19th century has survived to this day anyhow?

“I am actually not a man of science at all. . . . I am nothing but a conquistador by temperament, an adventurer.”

(Sigmund Freud, letter to Fleiss, 1900)

"If you bring forth that which is in you, that which you bring forth will be your salvation".

(The Gospel of Thomas)

"No, our science is no illusion. But an illusion it would be to suppose that what science cannot give us we cannot get elsewhere."

(Sigmund Freud, "The Future of an Illusion")

Harold Bloom called Freud "The central imagination

What Is A Psychopath?

We have all heard the terms "psychopath" or "sociopath". These are the old names for a patient with the Antisocial Personality Disorder (AsPD). It is hard to distinguish narcissists from psychopaths. The latter may simply be a less inhibited and less grandiose form of the former. Indeed, the DSM V Committee is considering to abolish this distinction altogether.

Still, there are some important nuances setting the two disorders apart:

As opposed to most narcissists, psychopaths are either unable or unwilling to control their impulses or to delay gratification. They use their rage to control people and manipulate them into submission.

Psychopaths, like narcissists, lack empathy but many of them are also sadistic: they take pleasure in inflicting pain on their victims or in deceiving them. They even find it funny!

Psychopaths are far less able to form interpersonal relationships, even the twisted and tragic relationships that are the staple of the narcissist.

Both the psychopath and the narcissist disregard society, its conventions, social cues and social treaties. But the psychopath carries this disdain to the extreme and is likely to be a scheming, calculated, ruthless, and callous career criminal. Psychopaths are deliberately and gleefully evil while narcissists are absent-mindedly and incidentally evil.

From my book "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited":

"As opposed to what Scott Peck says, narcissists are not evil – they lack the intention to cause harm (mens rea). As Millon notes, certain narcissists 'incorporate moral values into their exaggerated sense of superiority. Here, moral laxity is seen (by the narcissist) as evidence of inferiority, and it is those who are unable to remain morally pure who are looked upon with contempt.' (Millon, Th., Davis, R. - Personality Disorders in Modern Life - John Wiley and Sons, 2000). Narcissists are simply indifferent, callous and careless in their conduct and in their treatment of others. Their abusive conduct is off-handed and absent-minded, not calculated and premeditated like the psychopath's."

Psychopaths really do not need other people while narcissists are addicted to narcissistic supply (the admiration, attention, and envy of others).

Millon and Davis (supra) add (p. 299-300):

"When the egocentricity, lack of empathy, and sense of superiority of the narcissist cross-fertilize with the impulsivity, deceitfulness, and criminal tendencies of the antisocial, the result is a psychopath, an individual who seeks the gratification of selfish impulses through any means without empathy or remorse."

Personality Disorders and MMPI

The MMPI (Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory), composed by Hathaway (a psychologist) and McKinley (a physician) is the outcome of decades of research into personality disorders. The revised version, the MMPI-II (also known as MMPI-2), was published in 1989 but was received cautiously. MMPI-II changed the scoring method and some of the normative data. It was, therefore, hard to compare it to its much hallowed (and oft validated) predecessor.

The MMPI-II is made of 567 binary (true or false) items (questions). Each item requires the subject to respond: "This is true (or false) as applied to me". There are no "correct" answers. The test booklet allows the diagnostician to provide a rough assessment of the patient (the "basic scales") based on the first 370 queries (though it is recommended to administer all of 567 of them).

Based on numerous studies, the items are arranged in scales. The responses are compared to answers provided by "control subjects". The scales allow the diagnostician to identify traits and mental health problems based on these comparisons. In other words, there are no answers that are "typical to paranoid or narcissistic or antisocial patients". There are only responses that deviate from an overall statistical pattern and conform to the reaction patterns of other patients with similar scores. The nature of the deviation determines the patient's traits and tendencies - but not his or her diagnosis!

The interpreted outcomes of the MMPI-II are phrased thus: "The test results place subject X in this group of patients who, statistically-speaking, reacted similarly. The test results also set subject X apart from these groups of people who, statistically-speaking, responded differently". The test results would never say: "Subject X suffers from (this or that) mental health problem".

There are three validity scales and ten clinical ones in the original MMPI-II, but other scholars derived hundreds of additional scales. For instance: to help in diagnosing personality disorders, most diagnosticians use either the MMPI-I with the Morey-Waugh-Blashfield scales in conjunction with the Wiggins content scales - or the MMPI-II updated to include the Colligan-Morey-Offord scales.

The validity scales indicate whether the patient responded truthfully and accurately or was trying to manipulate the test. They pick up patterns. Some patients want to appear normal (or abnormal) and consistently choose what they believe are the "correct" answers. This kind of behavior triggers the validity scales. These are so sensitive that they can indicate whether the subject lost his or her place on the answer sheet and was responding randomly! The validity scales also alert the diagnostician to problems in reading comprehension and other inconsistencies in response patterns.

The clinical scales are dimensional (though not multiphasic as the test's misleading name implies). They measure hypochondriasis, depression, hysteria, psychopathic deviation, masculinity-femininity, paranoia, psychasthenia, schizophrenia, hypomania, and social introversion. There are also scales for alcoholism, post-traumatic stress disorder, and personality disorders.

The interpretation of the MMPI-II is now fully computerized. The computer is fed with the patients' age, sex, educational level, and marital status and does the rest.

Narcissism as a Personality Disorders

Are personality disorders the outcomes of frustrated narcissism?

During our formative years (6 months to 6 years old), we are all "narcissists". Primary Narcissism is a useful and critically important defense mechanism. As the infant separates from his mother and becomes an individual, it is likely to experience great apprehension, fear, and pain. Narcissism shields the child from these negative emotions. By pretending to be omnipotent, the toddler fends off the profound feelings of isolation, unease, pending doom, and helplessness that are attendant on the individuation-separation phase of personal development.

Well into early adolescence, the empathic support of parents, caregivers, role models, authority figures, and peers is indispensable to the evolution of a stable sense of self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence. Traumas and abuse, smothering and doting, and the constant breach of emerging boundaries yield the entrenchment of rigid adult narcissistic defenses.

In my book "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited", I defined pathological narcissism thus:

"Secondary or pathological narcissism is a pattern of thinking and behaving in adolescence and adulthood, which involves infatuation and obsession with one's self to the exclusion of others. It manifests in the chronic pursuit of personal gratification and attention (narcissistic supply), in social dominance and personal ambition, bragging, insensitivity to others, lack of empathy and/or excessive dependence on others to meet his/her responsibilities in daily living and thinking. Pathological narcissism is at the core of the narcissistic personality disorder."

What happens when such an individual faces disappointments, setbacks, failures, criticism and disillusionment?

They "resolve" these recurrent frustrations by developing personality disorders.

The Narcissistic Solution – The patient creates and projects an omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent False Self that largely replaces and represses the discredited and dilapidated True Self. He uses the False Self to garner narcissistic supply (attention, both positive and negative) and thus support his inflated fantasies. Both the Narcissistic and the Schizotypal Personality Disorders belong here because both involve grandiose, fantastic, and magical thinking. When the narcissistic solution fails, we have the Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The Borderline patient's awareness that the solution that she had opted for is "not working" generates in her an overwhelming separation anxiety (fear of abandonment), an identity disturbance, affective and emotional lability, suicidal ideation, and suicidal action, chronic feelings of emptiness, rage attacks, and transient (stress related) paranoid ideation.

The Appropriation Solution – This solution involves the appropriation of someone else's imagined (and, therefore, confabulated and false) self instead of one's dysfunctional True Self. Such people live vicariously, through others, and by proxy. Consider the Histrionic Personality Disorder. Histrionics sexualize and objectify others and then internalize (introject) them. Lacking an inner reality (True Self) they over-rate and over-emphasise their bodies. Histrionics and other "appropriators" misjudge the intimacy of their faux relationships and the degree of commitment involved. They are easily suggestible and their senses of self and self-worth shift and fluctuate with input from the outside (narcissistic supply). Another example of this type of solution is the Dependent Personality Disorder (codependents). Manipulative mothers who "sacrifice" their lives for their children, "drama queens", and people with factitious disorders (for instance, Munchausen Syndrome) also belong to this category.

The Schizoid Solution – Sometimes the emergence of the False Self is stunted or disrupted. The True Self remain immature and dysfunctional but it is not replaced by a functioning narcissistic defense mechanism. Such patients are mental zombies, trapped forever in the no-man's land between infancy and adulthood. They lack empathy, their psychosexual life is impoverished, they prefer to avoid contact with others, and withdraw from the world. The Schizotypal Personality Disorder is a mixture of the narcissistic and the schizoid solutions. The Avoidant Personality Disorder is a close kin.

In my book "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited", I described the Aggressive Destructive Solution thus:

"The Aggressive Destructive Solution – These people suffer from hypochondriasis, depression, suicidal ideation, dysphoria, anhedonia, compulsions and obsessions and other expressions of internalized and transformed aggression directed at a self which is perceived to be inadequate, guilty, disappointing and worthy of nothing but elimination. Many of the narcissistic elements are present in an exaggerated form. Lack of empathy becomes reckless disregard for others, irritability, deceitfulness and criminal violence. Undulating self-esteem is transformed into impulsiveness and failure to plan ahead. The Antisocial Personality Disorder is a prime example of this solution, whose essence is: the total control of a False Self, without the mitigating presence of a shred of True Self.

I tend to believe that malignant self love underlies all known personality disorders. Granted, different attributes and traits are emphasized in each personality disorder. But they all share the foundation of a failed personal psychological and psychosocial evolution. They are all the lamentable end results of stunted and compensatory trajectories of deformed growth and development."

Personality Disorders and Behaviours

Personality traits are enduring, usually rigid patterns of behavior, thinking (cognition), and emoting expressed in a variety of circumstances and situations and throughout one's life (typically from early adolescence onward). Some personality traits are harmful to both oneself and to others. These are the dysfunctional traits. Often they cause discomfort and the person bearing these traits is unhappy and self-critical. This is called ego-dystony. At other times, even the most pernicious personality traits are happily endorsed and even flaunted by the patient. This is called "ego-syntony".

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) describes 12 ideal "prototypes" of personality disorders. It provides lists of seven to nine personality traits per each disorder. These are called "diagnostic criteria". Whenever five of these criteria are met, a qualified mental health diagnostician can safely diagnose the existence of a personality disorder.

But important caveats apply.

No two people are alike. Even subjects suffering from the same personality disorder can be worlds apart as far as their backgrounds, actual conduct, inner world, character, social interactions, and temperament go.

Diagnosing the existence of a personality trait (applying the diagnostic criteria) is an art, not a science. Evaluating someone's conduct, appraising the patient's cognitive and emotional landscape, and attributing motivation to him or her, is a matter of judgment. There is no calibrated scientific instrument that can provide us with an objective reading of whether one lacks empathy, is unscrupulous, is sexualizing situations and people, or is clinging and needy.

Regrettably, the process is inevitably tainted by value judgments as well. Mental health practitioners are only human (well, OK, some of them are...:o)). They hail from specific social, economic, and cultural backgrounds. They do their best to neutralize their personal bias and prejudices but their efforts often fail. Many critics charge that certain personality disorders are "culture-bound". They reflect our contemporary sensitivities and values rather than invariable psychological entities and constructs.

Thus, someone with the Antisocial Personality Disorder is supposed to disrespect social rules and regard himself as a free agent. He lacks conscience and is often a criminal. This means that non-conformists, dissenters, and dissidents can be pathologized and labeled "antisocial". Indeed, authoritarian regimes often incarcerate their opponents in mental asylums based on such dubious "diagnoses". Moreover, crime is a career choice. Granted, it is a harmful and unpalatable one. But since when is one's choice of vocation a mental health problem?

If you believe in telepathy and UFOs and have bizarre rituals, mannerisms, and speech patterns, you may be diagnosed with the Schizotypal Personality Disorder. If you shun others and are a loner, you may be a Schizoid. And the list goes on.

To avoid these pitfalls, the DSM came up with a multi-axial model of personality evaluation.

Motavational Theory

A good motivation theory has to recognize the fact that we each get motivated differently. In the practice of neuro-linguistic programming or "NLP" this is taken into account in many ways. One of the more useful NLP theories is the concept of "away-from" and "towards" personalities.

Of course, we each have both modes of operation as a part of the way we function, but often one is dominant in each of us. Those in who the "towards" motivation dominates will be more affected by thoughts of future rewards. Those with a primarily "away-from" motivational style, will be more affected by thoughts of escaping pain or trouble.

Why not use this test to get an idea about which motivational style dominates your personality? Just read the following two descriptions of what having millions of dollars could mean to you.

1. You are safe and secure. You never have to return to your job or do anything you don't want to do. You have the means to eliminate most of your problems easily. You have everything you need to be free and comfortable.

2. You have the house of your dreams, and your favorite car too. You buy anything you want for you and your friends, and you do what you want. You have the means to achieve any of your goals.

If the first description is more compelling to you, you primarily have an "away-from" personality. If you feel more motivated by the second description, you have a "towards" personality. There are good and bad points to both types. "Towards" individuals make good entrepreneurs, for example, but often get into trouble because they don't plan well enough to avoid problems. "Away-from" individuals manage things well and avoid problems, but don't do as well at big goals.

So how do you use this motivation theory and this knowledge about yourself to your best advantage? Suppose you want to make more money and you are an "towards" person. You would want to envision the things you'll buy and do with that money, but also be aware that you may be glossing over the problems. If you are an "away-from" person, you'll need to continually remind yourself what a mess it will be if you fail. Otherwise you'll lose your motivation once you reach some level of comfort.

Of course, when you understand these two motivational styles, you can also influence others more easily. If you wanted to sell a new car to someone, for example, you would first determine if they are motivated away from things or towards things. For the former, you might explain how this new car will mean no more used-car hassles, or how it will make life easier. For the latter, you would explain how great they'll look in it, or what it can do.

You can play with this theory, and practice using this knowledge to influence others, but don't forget to influence yourself. While it is useful for understanding and influencing others, this is a motivation theory that is best used to affect your own self improvement.